Musings

Of friends and friendship…

We live in a very well-connected world today. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, you name it. To say, we have many friends/followers. Most people I know have a very large friend circle. Earlier, I used to crib about not having as many friends as others do. But it is with time that I realised, to have a few true friends is better than to call a bunch of people you interact with as your friends.

I’m not an introvert (Myers Briggs personality type is ENFP-A, the campaigner) yet I don’t make friends easily; acquaintances I have a plenty. The thing is, for me, a friend isn’t just someone I know and talk to. For me, a friend is someone who’s a part of my life, someone that truly matters. Maybe that’s why despite having really good friends, I don’t really have a best friend because I’ve always felt a best friend shouldn’t be like family, they should be family. I might have a best friend when I grow up and am capable of going out, acting, working on my own but not right now because if I call someone my best friend, it must mean I cannot fathom my life without them and that I am ready to go to hell and back to make them better.

Friendship today has become what I don’t like: dramatic, overtly gesture-filled, superficial and something people take very lightly. It has lost that essence that I crave in being friends with somebody. Friendship should mean that you’re there for the other person and you accept them for who they are. You don’t try to change them according to your preferences. I once said this and a friend (yes, a friend) really liked it so I think I’ll say it again, “a friend is not one who tries to change you, yet makes you a better person.” Friendship shouldn’t feel forced, it shouldn’t have any obligations. Each person should feel equally inclined to act for the other. For me, a friendship means, no conditions, no demands, just being there.

Well, if I’ve said so much, you might ask what I feel to be the features (?) of a friend? I know many people and I think I’d like to inculcate some qualities from them that make me feel, “wow, what a great friend.” First off, a friend shouldn’t be a hindrance to your progress, rather they should be your cheerleaders. A friend should know you well enough and be able to understand you well. Another quality that I don’t think I can ever imbibe but greatly admire in a friend of mine is being ready to take a hit for your friends. Personally, I don’t think I could ever get into a fight for a friend, mainly because of my tiny size. But for some awesome people, size doesn’t matter. They are ready to sport a black eye with bad make up to school for their friend. That’s true friendship. I’m not advocating violence by any means, but a friend is one who is ready to go on the line for your sake. Oh, and never take a friend’s joke to your heart. Never. And then, a friend should be a person you’re comfortable with. If you can’t open up to them, they aren’t a friend and if you have secrets, why? Isn’t true friendship supposed to be without any secrecy?

I sincerely wish all of you can find those true friends in life who’ll stick by you in thick and thin an be there for you. Me? I’ve found a few already from being a little kid to now and hope I will find more in the future. Till the next time we meet…

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