Musings

Why I miss being a child

Most of you aren’t children anymore, are you? I am not really one either. I do consider myself to be a child as I’m still quite young, but I’m not really a kid in the true sense now.

When I was, I never thought I’d miss being a kid. As a kid, I always thought, I am bored, how to pass time, what else can I do and then be suddenly doing something else. I envied adults in actually having a life and work to do and being busy. I longed for my childhood to end. It seemed that there was so much that those older to me could do just because they were older.

And now that I’m not in my childhood anymore, even when I’m barely out of it, I miss it terribly. I wouldn’t want to become a child again as I firmly believe in experiencing the whole of life but I do miss it.

Why? First of all, no responsibilities or very little at all. I don’t know about you but as a kid, I didn’t have to do much work. Any help I offered was just help, not my duty.

People didn’t take me very seriously, despite my being a mentally precocious child. Now I feel happy I wasn’t taken seriously as if what I said happened and the outcome wasn’t as expected, I didn’t go under the scanner. Now, if what I say isn’t what is expected, damn, I better be prepared for consequences (minor, but consequences nonetheless).

Just last week, we had to order pizza. We generally order from Domino’s but this time I wanted Pizza Hut. I told everyone that no, we’re getting Pizza Hut this time. Well, we did and definitely Domino’s pizza is better, at least where I live. And boy, did my younger sister and my dad (both the house’s biggest pizza fans) not let me live it down. If it had been my sister who’d done that, we’d all probably say (me included), “she’s just a kid, she didn’t know. At least she tried to do something new.”

Then, for me, most things were black and white as a kid. Either someone/something was good or it was bad. A woman didn’t listen to her parents, she’s bad. Now that I know they were telling her about not wearing short shorts, I am not sure she’s bad. She wants to express herself with clothes and her parents want her to not wear those clothes to protect her from leering eyes. I feel that one should wear clothes they want but in accordance with the environment because we don’t yet live in a utopian world.

Personal opinions change. Then I thought parents are always right. Now, I know they aren’t always (mostly they are). If anyone drank alcoholic drinks, they were evil. I know many people who drink and are yet absolutely wonderful, at least from when I’ve met them. I myself would never drink/smoke/do drugs but I’ve learnt to let people be and not just judge them for one part of their lives.

This whole learning to see the fifty shades of grey/gray has screwed me up. My mind and heart go berserk with conflict when I see something that I’m not sure about. I don’t know anymore whether it is correct or wrong. So, that’s bad.

Next, living up to society standards sucks. As a kid, I could run around doing whatever I wanted but now? Not really. I remember, when I was five-ish, my parents were going to visit someone and didn’t take me. I wanted to go. I had taken a bath an hour earlier and was just wearing a vest (it’s like a spaghetti top) and bloomers (yeah those fluffy undies for kids, don’t you dare to laugh). I ran after the motorbike on which my parents were, across the road in front of my house and chased them till three or four houses ahead (all this while crying hysterically) until they stopped, my mom shouted at me and her friend sitting nearby picked me up and deposited me with my grandparents at home. At least they didn’t give in to my tantrum?

If I go out dressed like that now, people would probably take out their phones and start filming me. I want to do things sometimes that I can’t because of the way society is structured. As a kid, no one cared about it.

This one’s especially for teens: peer pressure. Urgh! I don’t give in to it but it is very much present. I don’t like going to the mall with my school friends because it’s much more fun with parents (=cash source). Don’t judge me, my parents are better than yours :p.

Also, kids today are more interested in stranger stuff than I am. I do not like going into a shop and trying on all the clothes available. I choose a maximum of five items I like and try them (if needed) and end up buying most of them (good judgement skills, haha).

I also don’t like to ogle at and giggle about boys, especially not in front of them. That seems to be a favourite pastime of teens.

And I am not dramatic! I didn’t know until a few weeks ago, but I realised many teens were dramatic. They like plotting, planning, manipulating people. Really? Don’t you have a life? It’s just disgusting. I’m sorry but I might be a black sheep in being a teen.

And finally, this whole “you can make your own decisions” shit. Parents tell us this, don’t they. I’m happy that I have autonomy over most matters but right now, I don’t trust myself to do the right thing. I’m a good child with a sound mind but I’m not sure if the decisions I make will be good for me in the long run, though I try. I’ve told that to my parents and they tell me, “that’s how you learn.” Well, at least they give me advice.

So, now tell me, what’s not to miss in being a child?

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