It actually happened!

An endearing quality

I attended a wedding yesterday (December to mid-March is when most Indian weddings take place). Why am I telling you this? Wait. You’ll know in due course.

It was the wedding of the daughter of a close friend of my mother. We know their family pretty well. The mother is a very good lady, they have three kids, two daughters and the youngest son who’s my age. The father however, is a little strange. He doesn’t let the others exercise their will always, is too much of a miser, drinks more than he should and is prone to antics that don’t suit him. Well, all I can do about it is stay away from him. Now that that’s clear, let me move on to the story.

The wedding was a grand affair and everyone was having a good time. I wasn’t really impressed by the groom (except for his height; dayum, he was tall) as I thought the girl could get someone better but I didn’t know the groom personally, so I didn’t give it much thought and decided to focus on eating the different food items (they weren’t that good this time). When the time came for jai mala (exchanging of garlands between the bride and the groom), we saw the mother looking tense. She was looking here and there as if searching for someone. My mother and another family friend that we were sitting with exchanged worried looks. “He’s at it again,” said my mom. I asked my mother as to what was happening. She said, “you know how Uncle is. He has disappeared at this crucial time and Aunty is searching for him.” In Indian weddings, the parents have to be near the bride and the groom at most moments. Finally, someone found him and brought him. He still wouldn’t come on the stage (the bride and the groom sit on a big sofa on a stage) for the jai mala. Then I saw the groom gesturing him to come. He was, very respectfully and lovingly, asking him to come on the stage and be with them in the moment. In the end, on the groom’s repeated requests, the father went on the stage and the ceremony began.

While I was appalled by the father’s behaviour, I was very impressed by the groom. The moment when he called the father and said, “papa, please join us,” and when he gestured him to come up, I was actually moved to tears. I could see why the girl’s face instantly lit up when she sat with her to-be husband. I have seen many weddings but never have I been to a wedding where the groom behaved this way. If it had happened in another wedding, I’m sure the groom would have either ignored it or bitched about his stupid in-laws to someone. That was the moment I realised what I knew and yet didn’t know: for me, I want a guy who treats my family as his own, who doesn’t just support me when I’m having some problem with my family but is involved like it is his own family. My parents are very laid-back and chill but to have a guy like that would be really awesome. And with that, another quality added to my list of “must-have qualities in a guy”. I’ll publish that list one day, don’t worry. Tell me about what quality do you really want in your significant other?

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