Not yet an atheist

There’s a huge debate about atheism these days. Unlike a matter of belief, religious preference has become a matter of debate, with people debating upon what is the right way. I’ve been asked multiple times whether I’m a theist or an atheist and to be frank, I’m not sure what I should answer. I have friends who are atheists as well as religious friends. These are just personal views, but here goes:

I do not believe in God being the creator of the whole world and all organisms, neither do I believe in most superstitions. I don’t pray regularly but only when I feel like I want to. That makes me an atheist. But I do believe in the existence of power above us. As much as I want to not believe in it, I still do. The rationality in me tells me there isn’t anything like it. But inside, I secretly do believe (or rather want to believe) that there is someone above me. It may be my selfishness to do so as when the situation is not under my control, I always feel, leave it upto God, there’s nothing you can do. But I don’t believe that if I don’t do this or if I do this, I will be punished or rewarded. So, basically I believe God is a cool dude who’s just looking at whatever we’re doing and doesn’t really care if we follow the made up rules or not but just wants us to do good. And no, I don’t believe that God is making us do what we do. We do what we do according to our own will. Sure, he may be looking at us, but he’s not forcing us to do anything. Also, I’m a Hindu and my religion (at least from what I’ve been taught) doesn’t really care much about this thinking of mine. In fact, my mom tells me I can be an atheist and still be a Hindu. I don’t know how but I’ll believe her for now…

The thing about being a science student, especially one who studies biology is that science takes away your faith without providing you an alternate one. And keeping my faith is something that keeps me serene and calm and helps me through difficult times. If it is that way, I don’t actually care if there is a God or not. If it helps me be me, then I don’t mind it.

What about you? Do you believe in God? Why or why not?


5 thoughts on “Not yet an atheist

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